Journeyman Historian Core Lessons in Writing

Writing is an essential skill for all Historians. The ability to convey information in a manner that is both intelligent and rational is the hallmark of good historical writing throughout the ages. The following lessons are taken from various college History departments or online History journals that are aimed at helping you get your writing to a high level of scholarship. Read through each of these lessons. In your journal, share your thoughts on each lesson. What did you learn that you didn't know? How can you use what you've learned to make your own writing better?

This first lesson is an article taken from History Review, a journal dedicated to the study of History. Read through the lesson and share your thoughts in your journal.



First of all we ought to ask, What constitutes a good history essay? Probably no two people will completely agree, if only for the very good reason that quality is in the eye – and reflects the intellectual state – of the reader. What follows, therefore, skips philosophical issues and instead offers practical advice on how to write an essay that will get top marks.


Relevance


Witnesses in court promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. All history students should swear a similar oath: to answer the question, the whole question and nothing but the question. This is the number one rule. You can write brilliantly and argue a case with a wealth of convincing evidence, but if you are not being relevant then you might as well be tinkling a cymbal. In other words, you have to think very carefully about the question you are asked to answer. Be certain to avoid the besetting sin of those weaker students who, fatally, answer the question the examiners should have set – but unfortunately didn’t. Take your time, look carefully at the wording of the question, and be certain in your own mind that you have thoroughly understood all its terms.

If, for instance, you are asked why Hitler came to power, you must define what this process of coming to power consisted of. Is there any specific event that marks his achievement of power? If you immediately seize on his appointment as Chancellor, think carefully and ask yourself what actual powers this position conferred on him. Was the passing of the Enabling Act more important? And when did the rise to power actually start? Will you need to mention Hitler’s birth and childhood or the hyperinflation of the early 1920s? If you can establish which years are relevant – and consequently which are irrelevant – you will have made a very good start. Then you can decide on the different factors that explain his rise.
Or if you are asked to explain the successes of a particular individual, again avoid writing the first thing that comes into your head. Think about possible successes. In so doing, you will automatically be presented with the problem of defining ‘success’. What does it really mean? Is it the achievement of one’s aims? Is it objective (a matter of fact) or subjective (a matter of opinion)? Do we have to consider short-term and long-term successes? If the person benefits from extraordinary good luck, is that still a success? This grappling with the problem of definition will help you compile an annotated list of successes, and you can then proceed to explain them, tracing their origins and pinpointing how and why they occurred. Is there a key common factor in the successes? If so, this could constitute the central thrust of your answer.

The key word in the above paragraphs is think. This should be distinguished from remembering, daydreaming and idly speculating. Thinking is rarely a pleasant undertaking, and most of us contrive to avoid it most of the time. But unfortunately there’s no substitute if you want to get the top grade. So think as hard as you can about the meaning of the question, about the issues it raises and the ways you can answer it. You have to think and think hard – and then you should think again, trying to find loopholes in your reasoning. Eventually you will almost certainly become confused. Don’t worry: confusion is often a necessary stage in the achievement of clarity. If you get totally confused, take a break. When you return to the question, it may be that the problems have resolved themselves. If not, give yourself more time. You may well find that decent ideas simply pop into your conscious mind at unexpected times.

You need to think for yourself and come up with a ‘bright idea’ to write a good history essay. You can of course follow the herd and repeat the interpretation given in your textbook. But there are problems here. First, what is to distinguish your work from that of everybody else? Second, it’s very unlikely that your school text has grappled with the precise question you have been set.

The advice above is relevant to coursework essays. It’s different in exams, where time is limited. But even here, you should take time out to do some thinking. Examiners look for quality rather than quantity, and brevity makes relevance doubly important. If you get into the habit of thinking about the key issues in your course, rather than just absorbing whatever you are told or read, you will probably find you’ve already considered whatever issues examiners pinpoint in exams.


The Vital First Paragraph


Every part of an essay is important, but the first paragraph is vital. This is the first chance you have to impress – or depress – an examiner, and first impressions are often decisive. You might therefore try to write an eye-catching first sentence. (‘Start with an earthquake and work up to a climax,’ counselled the film-maker Cecil B. De Mille.) More important is that you demonstrate your understanding of the question set. Here you give your carefully thought out definitions of the key terms, and here you establish the relevant time-frame and issues – in other words, the parameters of the question. Also, you divide the overall question into more manageable sub-divisions, or smaller questions, on each of which you will subsequently write a paragraph. You formulate an argument, or perhaps voice alternative lines of argument, that you will substantiate later in the essay. Hence the first paragraph – or perhaps you might spread this opening section over two paragraphs – is the key to a good essay.

On reading a good first paragraph, examiners will be profoundly reassured that its author is on the right lines, being relevant, analytical and rigorous. They will probably breathe a sign of relief that here is one student at least who is avoiding the two common pitfalls. The first is to ignore the question altogether. The second is to write a narrative of events – often beginning with the birth of an individual – with a half-hearted attempt at answering the question in the final paragraph.


Middle Paragraphs


Philip Larkin once said that the modern novel consists of a beginning, a muddle and an end. The same is, alas, all too true of many history essays. But if you’ve written a good opening section, in which you’ve divided the overall question into separate and manageable areas, your essay will not be muddled; it will be coherent.

It should be obvious, from your middle paragraphs, what question you are answering. Indeed it’s a good test of an essay that the reader should be able to guess the question even if the title is covered up. So consider starting each middle paragraph will a generalisation relevant to the question. Then you can develop this idea and substantiate it with evidence. You must give a judicious selection of evidence (i.e. facts and quotations) to support the argument you are making. You only have a limited amount of space or time, so think about how much detail to give. Relatively unimportant background issues can be summarised with a broad brush; your most important areas need greater embellishment. (Do not be one of those misguided candidates who, unaccountably, ‘go to town’ on peripheral areas and gloss over crucial ones.)

The regulations often specify that, in the A2 year, students should be familiar with the main interpretations of historians. Do not ignore this advice. On the other hand, do not take historiography to extremes, so that the past itself is virtually ignored. In particular, never fall into the trap of thinking that all you need are sets of historians’ opinions. Quite often in essays students give a generalisation and back it up with the opinion of an historian – and since they have formulated the generalisation from the opinion, the argument is entirely circular, and therefore meaningless and unconvincing. It also fatuously presupposes that historians are infallible and omniscient gods. Unless you give real evidence to back up your view – as historians do – a generalisation is simply an assertion. Middle paragraphs are the place for the real substance of an essay, and you neglect this at your peril.


Final Paragraph


If you’ve been arguing a case in the body of an essay, you should hammer home that case in the final paragraph. If you’ve been examining several alternative propositions, now is the time to say which one is correct. In the middle paragraph you are akin to a barrister arguing a case. Now, in the final paragraph, you are the judge summing up and pronouncing the verdict.

It’s as well to keep in mind what you should not be doing. Do not introduce lots of fresh evidence at this stage, though you can certainly introduce the odd extra fact that clinches your case. Nor should you go on to the ‘next’ issue. If your question is about Hitler coming to power, you should not end by giving a summary of what he did once in power. Such an irrelevant ending will fail to win marks. Remember the point about answering ‘nothing but the question’? On the other hand, it may be that some of the things Hitler did after coming to power shed valuable light on why he came to power in the first place. If you can argue this convincingly, all well and good; but don’t expect the examiner to puzzle out relevance. Examiners are not expected to think; you must make your material explicitly relevant.


Final Thoughts


A good essay, especially one that seems to have been effortlessly composed, has often been revised several times; and the best students are those who are most selfcritical. Get into the habit of criticising your own first drafts, and never be satisfied with second-best efforts. Also, take account of the feedback you get from teachers. Don’t just look at the mark your essay gets; read the comments carefully. If teachers don’t advise how to do even better next time, they are not doing their job properly.

Relevance is vital in a good essay, and so is evidence marshalled in such a way that it produces a convincing argument. But nothing else really matters. The paragraph structure recommended above is just a guide, nothing more, and you can write a fine essay using a very different arrangement of material. Similarly, though it would be excellent if you wrote in expressive, witty and sparklingly provocative prose, you can still get top marks even if your essay is serious, ponderous and even downright dull.

There are an infinite number of ways to write an essay because any form of writing is a means of self-expression. Your essay will be unique because you are unique: it’s up to you to ensure that it’s uniquely good, not uniquely mediocre.

Robert Pearce is the editor of History Review.




Robert Pearce | Published in History Review Issue 72 March 2012

The following attached link comes from Harvard College, and is an overview of the basics of writing a college history paper. Read through it and share your thoughts in your journal.

This lesson comes to us from Hamilton College's History Department. While the previous lessons were general in their approach to writing History, this lesson covers this topic in greater detail. Focus on what is being said, keeping in mind it is intended for college level writing, and share your thoughts on it in your journal.

Now that we have had a thorough introduction to writing History, the next few lessons are going to focus on preparation and structuring your writing. First we'll cover the different kinds of approaches that are used for Historical Research Writing. These cover a wide range of many different approaches to a Historical question and as such can help you get started in how you want to analyze your area of interest in History. Following this brief overview, we'll cover areas that will pertain to your Journeyman writing.


This following information is from the USC Libraries Research Page:

Here are some specific approaches to research writing:

Case study approach -- explain the implications and unique characteristics of a complex research problem using a single bounded unit of analysis that illuminates key issues about the problem [e.g., an organization, behavior of doctors in an emergency room, a supreme court ruling, an event].

Comparison approach -- compare and contrast two ideas, constructs, or tangible things with one another.

Definition approach -- discuss in depth the cultural and associative meanings of, for example, a political theory, a policy proposal, or a controversial practice.

Descriptive approach -- choose a subject that you know well and help others to understand it.

Evaluative approach -- assess a theoretical concept, issue, person, place, or thing in a critical way.

Exploratory approach -- pursue a specific line of inquiry, often with the purpose of making recommendations for further research or to advocate and provide evidence for specific actions to be taken.

Interpretive approach -- apply the theoretical knowledge gained in your coursework to a particular research problem, such as, a business situation in a management course or a psychological case profile.

Narrative approach -- write from an experiential point of view, usually your own and written in the first person.

Persuasive approach -- take a position in a scholarly debate and give the reader reasons based on evidence why they should agree with your position.

Policy memorandum approach -- write short factual sentences devoid of emotion that summarize a situation to date, identify the main issue of concern, provide a breakdown of the elements of this main issue, and then recommend how to address the issue based on research about the topic.


While all can be used in research writing for purposes of Journeyman essay writing, we are going to focus on the Descriptive Approach, the Narrative Approach, and the Persuasive Approach. Other approaches may be used when you move on to your Master Research Paper, but these are the key areas we need to cover for basic historical writing.


Descriptive Essays: These essays are meant to describe an area to someone that doesn't know anything about the topic you are discussing. These tend to move from general information to something more specific and make up the bulk of essay writing you will do here in the guild. These essays tell us what you know about the topics covered in great detail.

Narrative Essays: Essays in this format tell a story. There is a significant amount of secondary source material that is written in this format. These types of essays tell the story of a historical event or individual through the eyes of the people that would have lived it. It gives a very human feeling to the writing.

Persuasive (Argumentative) Essays: These essays also make up a significant chunk historical material available, particularly in areas of current research. As new discoveries are made, theories are often challenged and changed based on these new discoveries. Being able to make an argument is a vital component to the Historian's tool box.

Share your thoughts on this lesson in your Journal. You will have lots of opportunities to practice these approaches in upcoming Journeyman lessons.

The lessons that follow will go into detail the process of writing a paper. In this section, we'll discuss Prewriting, those things that we can do to organize our thoughts before we sit down to create a draft. Specifically, this lesson will cover brainstorming with advice on how you can develop your ideas for a writing assignment. Read through the lesson and share your thoughts in your Journal.


This lesson is derived from Walden University's Writing Center.


Overview

Choosing a paper topic or narrowing down a topic of interest is an important part of the scholarly writing process. Many times, your instructor will assign you a topic to write about or will provide you with some topic guidelines. However, you still must ensure that your topic fulfills your assignment requirements. The resources below contain several suggestions to consider when planning, brainstorming, and developing your ideas for an assignment.


Choosing a Topic

The most important thing to consider when choosing a paper topic is your assignment guidelines. Use these checklists to make sure you are adhering to your mentor's requirements:


Assignment checklist:

- Double-check the lesson or assignment.
- Write out all of the topics or sources that you must cover in your paper.
- Keep that list next to you while writing.


Double-check the assignment's word limit.

Keep in mind that a standard five to seven-page paper has three to four main points.
Does your paper require more pages? If so, assume that each main point will likely require about one page of explanation.
Reserve a full page for your introduction and conclusion combined.

Once you are confident that your topic meets these requirements, think about the scope of your paper. A short paper should have a topic that is very narrow in scope—a common mistake students make is to tackle too big of a topic in a brief assignment. For example, it is not a good idea to investigate a broad topic like "Classical Greece" in a five-page paper. Instead, you might want to narrow your focus (i.e., "Spartan Methods of Educating Boys Prior to Thermopylae"). If you are unsure if the scope of your topic is appropriate, it is a good idea to ask for input from your mentor.

Outlining is another Prewriting step. This is when you paper begins to take shape. Read through the following lesson and share your thoughts in your journal.


This lesson is derived from Walden University's Writing Center.


Outlining Strategies

Outlining your first draft by listing each paragraph's topic sentence can be an easy way to ensure that each of your paragraphs is serving a specific purpose in your paper. You may find opportunities to combine or eliminate potential paragraphs when outlining—first drafts often contain repetitive ideas or sections that stall, rather than advance, the paper's central argument.

Additionally, if you are having trouble revising a paper, making an outline of each paragraph and its topic sentence after you have written your paper can be an effective way of identifying a paper's strengths and weaknesses.


Example Outline

The following outline is for a 5-7 page paper discussing the link between educational attainment and health. Review the other sections of this page for more detailed information about each component of this outline!


I. Introduction

A. Current Problem: Educational attainment rates are decreasing in the United States while healthcare costs are increasing.
B. Population/Area of Focus: Unskilled or low-skilled adult workers
C. Key Terms: healthy, well-educated


Thesis Statement: Because of their income deficit (cite sources) and general susceptibility to depression (cite sources), students who drop out of high school before graduation maintain a higher risk for physical and mental health problems later in life.


II. Background

A. Historical Employment Overview: Unskilled laborers in the past were frequently unionized and adequately compensated for their work (cite sources).
B. Historical Healthcare Overview: Unskilled laborers in the past were often provided adequate healthcare and benefits (cite sources).
C. Current Link between Education and Employment Type: Increasingly, uneducated workers work in unskilled or low-skilled jobs (cite sources).
D. Gaps in the Research: Little information exists exploring the health implications of the current conditions in low-skilled jobs.


III. Major Point 1: Conditions of employment affect workers' physical health.

A. Minor Point 1: Unskilled work environments are correlated highly with worker injury (cite sources).
B. Minor Point 2: Unskilled work environments rarely provide healthcare or adequate injury recovery time (cite sources).


IV. Major Point 2: Conditions of employment affect workers' mental health

A. Minor Point 1: Employment in a low-skilled position is highly correlated with dangerous levels of stress (cite sources).
B. Minor Point 2: Stress is highly correlated with mental health issues (cite sources).


V. Major Point 3: Physical health and mental health correlate directly with one another.

A. Minor Point 1: Mental health problems and physical health problems are highly correlated (cite sources).
B. Minor Point 2: Stress manifests itself in physical form (cite sources)


VI. Major Point 4: People with more financial worries have more stress and worse physical health.

A. Minor Point 1: Many high-school dropouts face financial problems (cite sources).
B. Minor Point 2: Financial problems are often correlated with unhealthy lifestyle choices such unhealthy food choices, overconsumption/abuse of alcohol, chain smoking, abusive relationships, etc. (cite sources).


VII. Conclusion

A. Restatement of Thesis: Students who drop out of high school are at a higher risk for both mental and physical health problems throughout their lives.
B. Next Steps: Society needs educational advocates; educators need to be aware of this situation and strive for student retention in order to promote healthy lifestyles and warn students of the risks associated with dropping out of school.
Introduction/Context

Your introduction provides context to your readers to prepare them for your paper's argument or purpose. An introduction should begin with discussion of your specific topic (not a broad background overview) and provide just enough context (definitions of key terms, for example) to prepare your readers for your thesis or purpose statement.


Sample Introduction/Context: If the topic of your paper is the link between educational attainment and health, your introduction might do the following: (a) establish the population you are discussing, (b) define key terms such as healthy and well-educated, or (c) justify the discussion of this topic by pointing out a connection to a current problem that your paper will help address.


Thesis/Purpose Statement:

A thesis or purpose statement should come at the end of your introduction and state clearly and concisely what the purpose or central argument of your paper is. The introduction prepares your reader for this statement, and the rest of the paper follows in support of it.

Sample Thesis Statement: Because of their income deficit (Smith, 2010) and general susceptibility to depression (Jones, 2011), students who drop out of high school before graduation maintain a higher risk for physical and mental health problems later in life.


Background

After the initial introduction, background on your topic often follows. This paragraph or section might include a literature review surveying the current state of knowledge on your topic or simply a historical overview of relevant information. The purpose of this section is to justify your own project or paper by pointing out a gap in the current research which your work will address.

Sample Background: A background section on a paper on education and health might include an overview of recent research in this area, such as research on depression or on decreasing high school graduation rates.


Major & Minor Points

Major points are the building blocks of your paper. Major points build on each other, moving the paper forward and toward its conclusion. Each major point should be a clear claim that relates to the central argument of your paper.

Sample Major Point: Employment and physical health may be a good first major point for this sample paper. Here, a student might discuss how dropping out of high school often leads to fewer employment opportunities, and those employment opportunities that are available tend to be correlated with poor work environments and low pay.

Minor points are subtopics within your major points. Minor points develop the nuances of your major points but may not be significant enough to warrant extended attention on their own. These may come in the form of statistics, examples from your sources, or supporting ideas.

Sample Minor Point: A sample minor point of the previous major point (employment and physical health) might address worker injury or the frequent lack of health insurance benefits offered by low-paying employers.
The rest of the body of your paper will be made up of more major and minor points. Each major point should advance the paper's central argument, often building on the previous points, until you have provided enough evidence and analysis to justify your paper's conclusion.


More Major and Minor Points: In this paper, more major points might include mental health of high school dropouts, healthcare access for dropouts, and correlation between mental and physical health. Minor topics could include specific work environments, job satisfaction in various fields, and correlation between depression and chronic illness.


Conclusion

Your conclusion both restates your paper's major claim and ties that claim into a larger discussion. Rather than simply reiterating each major and minor point, quickly revisit your thesis statement and focus on ending the paper by tying your thesis into current research in your field, next steps for other researchers, your broader studies, or other future implications.


Sample Conclusion: For this paper, a conclusion might restate the central argument (the link between lack of education and health issues) and go on to connect that discussion to a larger discussion of the U.S. healthcare or education systems.

In this final lesson on Prewriting, we will discuss Organizing Your Thoughts, the method of putting all the information you want to convey at it's appropriate place in the outline. Read through the lesson and share your thoughts in your journal.


This lesson is derived from Walden University's Writing Center.


Overview

Stacks of notes, books, and course materials in front of a blank computer screen may cause a moment of writer's block as you go to organize your paper, but there is no need to panic. Instead, organizing your paper will give you a sense of control and allow you to better integrate your ideas as you start to write.


Categorize

Organizing your paper can be a daunting task if you begin too late, so organizing a paper should take place during the reading and note-taking process. As you read and take notes, make sure to group your data into self-contained categories. These categories will help you to build the structure of your paper.

Take, for example, a paper about children's education and the quantity of television children watch. Some categories may be the following:

- Amount of television children watch (by population, age, gender, etc.)
- Behaviors or issues linked to television watching (obesity, ADHD, etc.)
- Outcomes linked to television watching (performance in school, expected income, etc.)
- Factors influencing school performance (parent involvement, study time, etc.)

The list above holds some clear themes that may emerge you as read through the literature. It is sometimes a challenge to know what information to group together into a category. Sources that share similar data, support one another, or bring about similar concerns may be a good place to start looking for such categories.


For example, let's say you had three sources that had the following information:

- The average American youth spends 900 hours in school over the course of a school year; the average American youth watches 1500 hours of television a year (Herr, 2001).

- "According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), kids in the United States watch about 4 hours of TV a day - even though the AAP guidelines say children older than 2 should watch no more than 1 to 2 hours a day of quality programming" (Folder, Crisp, & Watson, 2005, p. 2).

- "According to AAP (2007) guidelines, children under age 2 should have no screen time (TV, DVDs or videotapes, computers, or video games) at all. During the first 2 years, a critical time for brain development, TV can get in the way of exploring, learning, and spending time interacting and playing with parents and others, which helps young children develop the skills they need to grow cognitively, physically, socially, and emotionally" (Folder, Crisp, & Watson, 2005, p. 9).

With these three ideas, you might group them under this category: Amount of television children watch.

Each of these source quotations or paraphrases supports that category. For each group of information, repeat this process to group similar categories together. Then you can move on to order the information you gather.


Order

Once you have read your sources, taken notes, and grouped your information by category, the next step is to read critically, evaluate your sources, determine your thesis statement, and decide the best order in which to present your research. Note that as you begin to narrow your topic or focus, you will find some sources are not relevant. That is fine! Do not try to squeeze every source mentioning "children" and "television" into your paper.


Let's say you have come up with the following categories from the sources you have read:

- Children watch more than the recommended amount of television.
- The more television children watch, the less likely they are to study.
- Certain groups of children watch more television than others.
- Students whose grades are poor in high school are 56% less likely to graduate from college.
- Poor performance in middle school correlates to poor high school performance.

You will want the order of your material to advance and prove your thesis. Every thesis needs to be capable of advancement. Let's assume that your thesis is Children who watch more than the recommended amount of television are less likely to receive a college education. In this case, it seems that you will want to start off by showing that there is a problem, and then giving examples of that problem and its consequences.


The best order for these categories would be the following:

- Children watch more than the recommended amount of television.
- Certain groups of children watch more television than others.
- The more television children watch, the less likely they are to study.
- Poor performance in middle school correlates to poor high school performance
- Students whose grades are poor in high school are 56% less likely to graduate from college.

The way a paper is organized is largely the result of the logical and causal relationships between the categories or topics apparent in the research. In other words, each category's placement is specifically chosen so that it is the result of the previous theme and able to contribute to the next, as the previous example shows. It is often a good practice to save your strongest argument or evidence until the end of the paper and build up to it. Using careful organization to advance your thesis will help guide your reader to your conclusion!

We have gone over the Prewriting portion of writing a paper. The next section of lessons cover Drafting your paper. The first lesson of drafting covers introductions, how we open up our papers to the reader. The introduction contains the hook that will draw the reader in and will help set the stage for the rest of the paper. Read through the lesson and share your thoughts on it in your Journal.


This lesson is derived from Walden University's Writing Center.



Writing an Introduction


An easy template for writing an introduction:

- What has been said or done on this topic?
- What is the problem with what has been said or done?
- What will you offer to solve the problem? (The answer to this question is your thesis statement.)
- How does your solution address social change?


Example:


What has been said or done?

Since its publication in 1880, Constance Fenimore Woolson’s short story, “Rodman the Keeper,” critics have repeatedly described it as “epitomizing [a] sympathy and sensitivity to the South” (Weekes, 2002, p. 34).


What is the problem with what has been said or done?

Belying this assessment, I would argue, is the make-up of Woolson’s Southern economy.


What will you offer to solve the problem?

Therefore, I will focus not on the sympathetically depicted depravity of the Southern proletariat, as most critics do, but rather on the causes and effects of this depravity. This approach will reveal a facet of “Rodman” that many critics have ignored: the financial irresponsibility of the “thriftless,” “prideful” Southerner and the subsequent and repeated fault in his attempt to independently sustain his economy.


How does your solution address social change?

Peppered throughout Woolson’s text, these charges of incompetence make it seem that Woolson is far less concerned with “preserving a record of the quickly fading southern values, society, and way of life” (Weekes, 2002, p. 37) than she is with establishing Northern superiority.


This is just an example of an introduction template. There are many others out there. Take some time to investigate before you decide on the structure of your introduction.

Thesis statements define your paper. A correctly constructed thesis statement gives the reader the gist of your essay and is the main point that all sub points are tied to. Read through the lesson and share your thoughts in your journal.


This lesson is derived from Walden University's Writing Center.


Basics of Thesis Statements

The thesis statement is the brief articulation of your paper's central argument and purpose. You might hear it referred to as simply a "thesis." Every scholarly paper should have a thesis statement, and strong thesis statements are concise, specific, and arguable. Concise means the thesis is short: perhaps one or two sentences for a shorter paper. Specific means the thesis deals with a narrow and focused topic, appropriate to the paper's length. Arguable means that a scholar in your field could disagree (or perhaps already has!).

Strong thesis statements address specific intellectual questions, have clear positions, and use a structure that reflects the overall structure of the paper. Read on to learn more about constructing a strong thesis statement.


Being Specific

This thesis statement has no specific argument:

Needs Improvement: In this essay, I will examine two scholarly articles to find similarities and differences.

This statement is concise, but it is neither specific nor arguable—a reader might wonder, "Which scholarly articles? What is the topic of this paper? What field is the author writing in?" Additionally, the purpose of the paper—to "examine…to find similarities and differences" is not of a scholarly level. Identifying similarities and differences is a good first step, but strong academic argument goes further, analyzing what those similarities and differences might mean or imply.

Better: In this essay, I will argue that Bowler's (2003) autocratic management style, when coupled with Smith's (2007) theory of social cognition, can reduce the expenses associated with employee turnover.

The new revision here is still concise, as well as specific and arguable. We can see that it is specific because the writer is mentioning (a) concrete ideas and (b) exact authors. We can also gather the field (business) and the topic (management and employee turnover). The statement is arguable because the student goes beyond merely comparing; he or she draws conclusions from that comparison ("can reduce the expenses associated with employee turnover").


Making a Unique Argument

This thesis draft repeats the language of the writing prompt without making a unique argument:

Needs Improvement: The purpose of this essay is to monitor, assess, and evaluate an educational program for its strengths and weaknesses. Then, I will provide suggestions for improvement.

You can see here that the student has simply stated the paper's assignment, without articulating specifically how he or she will address it. The student can correct this error simply by phrasing the thesis statement as a specific answer to the assignment prompt.

Better: Through a series of student interviews, I found that Kennedy High School's antibullying program was ineffective. In order to address issues of conflict between students, I argue that Kennedy High School should embrace policies outlined by the California Department of Education (2010).

Words like "ineffective" and "argue" show here that the student has clearly thought through the assignment and analyzed the material; he or she is putting forth a specific and debatable position. The concrete information ("student interviews," "antibullying") further prepares the reader for the body of the paper and demonstrates how the student has addressed the assignment prompt without just restating that language.


Creating a Debate

This thesis statement includes only obvious fact or plot summary instead of argument:

Needs Improvement: Leadership is an important quality in nurse educators.

A good strategy to determine if your thesis statement is too broad (and therefore, not arguable) is to ask yourself, "Would a scholar in my field disagree with this point?" Here, we can see easily that no scholar is likely to argue that leadership is an unimportant quality in nurse educators. The student needs to come up with a more arguable claim, and probably a narrower one; remember that a short paper needs a more focused topic than a dissertation.

Better: Roderick's (2009) theory of participatory leadership is particularly appropriate to nurse educators working within the emergency medicine field, where students benefit most from collegial and kinesthetic learning.

Here, the student has identified a particular type of leadership ("participatory leadership"), narrowing the topic, and has made an arguable claim (this type of leadership is "appropriate" to a specific type of nurse educator). Conceivably, a scholar in the nursing field might disagree with this approach. The student's paper can now proceed, providing specific pieces of evidence to support the arguable central claim.


Choosing the Right Words

This thesis statement uses large or scholarly-sounding words that have no real substance:

Needs Improvement: Scholars should work to seize metacognitive outcomes by harnessing discipline-based networks to empower collaborative infrastructures.

There are many words in this sentence that may be buzzwords in the student's field or key terms taken from other texts, but together they do not communicate a clear, specific meaning. Sometimes students think scholarly writing means constructing complex sentences using special language, but actually it's usually a stronger choice to write clear, simple sentences. When in doubt, remember that your ideas should be complex, not your sentence structure.

Better: Ecologists should work to educate the U.S. public on conservation methods by making use of local and national green organizations to create a widespread communication plan.

Notice in the revision that the field is now clear (ecology), and the language has been made much more field-specific ("conservation methods," "green organizations"), so the reader is able to see concretely the ideas the student is communicating.


Leaving Room for Discussion

This thesis statement is not capable of development or advancement in the paper:

Needs Improvement: There are always alternatives to illegal drug use.

This sample thesis statement makes a claim, but it is not a claim that will sustain extended discussion. This claim is the type of claim that might be appropriate for the conclusion of a paper, but in the beginning of the paper, the student is left with nowhere to go. What further points can be made? If there are "always alternatives" to the problem the student is identifying, then why bother developing a paper around that claim? Ideally, a thesis statement should be complex enough to explore over the length of the entire paper.

Better: The most effective treatment plan for methamphetamine addiction may be a combination of pharmacological and cognitive therapy, as argued by Baker (2008), Smith (2009), and Xavier (2011).

In the revised thesis, you can see the student make a specific, debatable claim that has the potential to generate several pages' worth of discussion. When drafting a thesis statement, think about the questions your thesis statement will generate: What follow-up inquiries might a reader have? In the first example, there are almost no additional questions implied, but the revised example allows for a good deal more exploration.


Extra Tips


Thesis Mad Libs

If you are having trouble getting started, try using the models below to generate a rough model of a thesis statement! These models are intended for drafting purposes only and should not appear in your final work.

In this essay, I argue ____, using ______ to assert _____.
While scholars have often argued ______, I argue______, because_______.
Through an analysis of ______, I argue ______, which is important because_______.
Words to Avoid and to Embrace

When drafting your thesis statement, avoid words like explore, investigate, learn, compile, summarize, and explain to describe the main purpose of your paper. These words imply a paper that summarizes or "reports," rather than synthesizing and analyzing.

Instead of the terms above, try words like argue, critique, question, and interrogate. These more analytical words may help you begin strongly, by articulating a specific, critical, scholarly position.